Ghosts of Boyfriends Past

2 Aug

When it comes to dating I’m fearless! lol I’ve tried online dating, I’ve dated acquaintances, and even complete strangers who give me their business card on the streets of NYC. I truly believe that the love of my life is out there and he could be any where so I try to never shut down a window of opportunity. However, like they always say you gotta kiss a bunch of frogs before you find your prince. Today’s blog encompasses the worst of the worst of my dating life! lol I’m sure you’ve all been on at least one date you regret or wish you could erase from your memory…I’ve been on a few so join me as I reminisce and find humor in my journey for my prince charming. As for the men reading this I hope that you learn from their mistakes…

An Eye for an Eye…

I met him online and he had such a cute smile. I can’t even lie I was excited! We decided to have dinner and drinks at a Mexican spot in the city. When I arrived I checked him out and my first impression was wow he’s cute but then he opened his mouth. lol Some how he brought up the conversation of revenge and he forewarned me that if we ever pursued a relationship that he believed in an eye for an eye. So if I ever did anything to hurt him he would seek revenge on me without hesitation. lol “Check Please!”

Whats Wrong with You…

I met him online as well. He was caramel skin and had those gorgeous hazel eyes. Yum! He seemed like he came from a good family and everything. We decided to chat it up at a local Starbucks. The conversation started with simple, small talk…but suddenly went wry. “So let’s be honest here. There’s no point in wasting each other’s time trying to get to know each other for the next 6 months to only find out in the end that there’s something really wrong with one of us…soooo let’s be honest why are you single? whats wrong with you? ” lol IM DONE! lol

Doubleheader…

So he invited me to watch his softball game. Mind you I love softball so I’m excited! However, he doesn’t tell me it’s a doubleheader. It’s still pretty chilly weather so for the next 2 hours and a half I’m freezing my ass off dancing in place with hopes to get feeling back in my thighs. When the games finish I express that I’m really hungry and I’d like to go eat. So he says well it’s up to the guys whatever they want to do. Mind you I just sat watching him for 2.5 hours freezing my booty off but it’s not about me yet…apparently it’s about his friends?!?!? #NEXT

Stage 5 Clinger…

So I dated this guy that literally needed me to call him or text him every hour on the hour. If I didn’t he would freak out. I tried to explain to him like sometimes when I’m at work and in a meeting I can’t respond, but he just didn’t seem to understand. I kept telling myself but he’s smart, he’s funny, super successful, ambitious and handsome…maybe I should just try to be more attentive? Maybe I’m just not sensitive enough? So I really start to put effort, but he just can’t understand the concept of plans. Like if I said I had plans it was like the guilt trip from hell. He’d also test me to see how long I would go without texting him. I swear one time we had an argument because he literally counted the hours and minutes in between our last conversation. Now I’m not putting down people who need attention. I get it everyone wants some love. I tried to explain to him like look we’ve only been on one date you have to earn certain behavior. Why would I give you boyfriend privileges if you haven’t even given me a reason to want to call you every hour on the hour… #NEXT

Emotionally Unavailable…

Now this guy I really thought he was the full package. He quit his money making director position to find more meaningful work as a 6th grade teacher. #heartmelts It seemed like we had a lot in common and he had good heart! Our first date he proceeds to lay down the law…”If we ever get in a relationship and you cheat on me I will never forgive you, that’s the one thing I will never forgive.” Then he proceeds to tell me that he can’t wait to get me “hooked on him.” I must say it was a little strange to hear these things on a first date, but I chucked it up to God and thought well maybe it was the two beers he had talking. The second date happens and it was actually pretty great. A few days later he calls me really late at night and we’re talking and he proceeds to tell me that he can’t wait to have sex with me and that he wants to specifically have raw sex with me. I told his ass he was crazy one because I’m not trying to have children any time soon and two because hello STDs exist! His response was “but you’re perfect, you’re amazing why wouldn’t any man want to impregnate you. If you got pregnant I wouldn’t mind” lol If you ever want to scare a good woman off this is the perfect line. lol The next day he calls to apologize apparently he was wasted last night. He then proceeds to tell me that the truth is he’s emotionally unavailable! A month later he calls me again and tells me he misses me and that the real truth is he was talking to another woman at the time and didn’t feel like he could give me what I deserve. So then I asked well are you still talking to her…he said “yes.” I stayed quiet and said I was happy for him. He responded, “That’s it that’s all you’re going to say you’re not going to fight for me? lol Dude MUST have lost his damn mind! lol #NEXT

Big Black Cock

So I left the best for last…This one I couldn’t even make it up if I tried. I actually met him on the way to another date. He stopped me told me I was beautiful and that if my date was horrible that I should give him a call. He was a doctor and he owned his own broadway production company. He seemed genuinely sweet and caring. We went on 5 dates and to be honest they were the best dates I ever been on in my life! From rib eye steaks and ballroom dancing in the Waldorf Astoria to exclusive Spas in Little Korea I mean I was sold! He was charismatic, romantic, witty, generous, good-hearted, spontaneous and smart! Everything I could ever wish for in a man. On our 5th date he expressed to me that he was a swinger, he was interested in an open relationship, participated in group sex and thoroughly enjoyed big black cock in his mouth…the bigger the better! Don’t get me wrong he was a genuinely nice guy and to each his own but definitely not something I was interested in nor did I expect all that… #NEXT

 

These Memories will Self-destruct in 3…2…1…

 

3 Responses to “Ghosts of Boyfriends Past”

  1. Yahira December 15, 2014 at 10:25 pm #

    When I was in college this guy hit me up on Facebook I had met at a school event. He came from NJ to visit friends at my school. Friends encouraged me to give him a chance and go on a date. Finally I agreed and worked my way into NJ which was about a 3.5 hour ride on public transportation. I even asked a friend to allow me to sleep over her apartment in Jersey City in order to make my date at 8 and not have to commute. Homie texts me at 7:50pm and tells me he still needed to go home to shower and get ready. His plan was to pick me up take me to his house and then go to dinner. I ignored my instinct to cancel. I made a big deal about it being late and it not being my apartment so he took me to eat first. After dinner he ignored my request to go home and drove himself home to change (I stayed in the car of course). When he returned ever so awkwardly he kisses me and while caressing my head proceeds to push my head down to his penis! EXCUSE ME what kind of a girl do you think I am! After he apologizes he drives us to a club where a girl jumps on him and wraps her legs around him and kisses him on the lips. Homie says “that was my aunt”. Then he gets angry when I refused to kiss him and aggressively drives me to my friends house and speeds off before I even closed the car door at 3am in a shady neighborhood. The next day he calls me very excited to ask me if I enjoyed myself because he had a great time. Memory self destruct please!!!

    • [Nat]urallyLoved December 17, 2014 at 2:40 pm #

      That definitely sounds like a nightmare. I read this quote the other day that said “Men look for sex and find love. Women look for love and find sex.” It’s such a simple concept, but from my observations I find it to be very true.

  2. John December 16, 2014 at 12:09 am #

    Yahira,

    Wow I’m sorry to hear what you went through but as time passes men of this generation are becoming more and more childish.

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