Sometimes in life we need to fail before we can succeed, lose someone before we can appreciate them, fall before we can get back up, hit rock bottom before we can reach for the stars, dig deeper before we can build taller, cry in order to appreciate when someone makes us smile, beg before we can learn to count our blessings, and last but not least hurt before we can learn how to truly love and be loved.
These are the lessons of women and men whose pasts have shaped them into the extraordinary individuals they are today…
He said, “I learned that to love is to focus on the others happiness and well-being over your own. To love is to give all of yourself to others as possible. To love is to live full and die empty, using everything God has given you while alive. True love is patient and takes time to learn all they can about their loved ones. If you don’t know God’s love you will never know what true love should look like…”
Naturally Loved said, ” I learned that people communicate love in different ways and I realized what kind of love I need from a man. Gary Chapman in the book The 5 Love Languages talks about how some communicate love through words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and/or physical touch. Sometimes we think that someone doesn’t love us but the reality is that sometimes it’s just that they are communicating their love for us in a language that we don’t understand. I also learned that it is easier to forgive others than to forgive myself. My last relationship taught me how to be a better lover overall. I learned the important role that loyalty and spirituality play in a relationship. It taught me how to empathize with others who are experiencing a loss. It taught me not to judge those who are mourning a relationship. I’m naturally a very trusting person and it taught me that the only person I can trust 100% is God. Lastly, it was a catalyst for me to follow my dreams, lose 50lbs, and travel the world.”
Chica Barbie said, “It is difficult to put into a few words what I’ve learned from my past relationship. How do you put into words events that have changed who I am as a person and perhaps changed the entire course of my life? When I think about it the very first thing that comes to mind is God believe it or not. In my past relationship God was the last thing I worried about. I was so fully indulged in myself and my own desires that I allowed a man to push God so far out of my life that when he left me, I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I was left with no love, hope or faith, just completely lost! It took me a very long time to find my happy and myself again, because without God I have no existence. It was not easy to accept that. Today I have met a man who has motivated and inspired me to love again. Together we are building a relationship where God is the center. I believe that the world is full of obstacles that will consistently be trying to pull you and your loved one apart; but if you make God the core then he will always work as a magnet which pulls you both back to each other. ‘A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God, that a man should have to seek him first to find her…’ –Max Lucado” – Click here to check out Chica Barbie’s last post and see her progress in love… “Past the Point of No Return”
She said, “From my last heartbreak I learned to always be yourself and if they can’t appreciate your awesomeness then it’s their loss. I’ve learned not to settle. I’ve learned to steer away from men that still need to fix certain things about themselves. Reality is, we all have issues we still need to work on but if that person allows their demons to take over and self-love isn’t there then there’s absolutely nothing anyone can do for them no matter how strong love is. Never settle and always be yourself!”
She said, “My last relationship taught me that you can’t rely on someone else for your happiness because only you are responsible for that. It’s cliché but you have to like who you are first before getting someone else involved and that person should have the qualities you have or are working on (being loving, confident, ambitious, etc.) For the first time I thought that I had met my other half, that my search was over and I’d found my ‘soul mate’ so when we broke up I had to pick up the pieces of the collapsed future I had originally envisioned. I had to see my ex everyday for about a year (PSA: dating co-workers is dangerous business) and the heartbreak I repeatedly faced was the hardest thing I ever had to deal with but I came out the other side wiser and stronger because I learned that nothing could destroy me.”
She said, “My last relationship taught me to LIVE!!! That no matter how much I loved him I should have followed my dreams. I left my dreams behind and at the end that person did not do the same for me. We must lose ourselves in the moment but never forget the reality.”
How will your lessons of 2012 make you a better lover in 2013…not only of others, but of yourself as well? Start by making a list of 5 ways you will love yourself more and 5 ways you will love others better in 2013 and post it in your planner!